How Meditation Helps Me Function

Call me a nun, a spiritualist, a medium, or enlightened being, what ever you prefer.

I believe I’m some kind of cross between a Messianic Jew and a Dutch-Canadian Buddhist Monk.

Every day I spend as much time as possible in quiet meditation.

Being a person with Schizophrenia is difficult. I hear dreams play out in my head while I’m awake. It’s frustrating sometimes since I can not shut it off, sometimes hearing a lot of voices simultaneously.

It’s strange that I can consciously interact with my dream characters while awake.

I’ve learned this is part and parcel of transcending spiritual dimensions, even talking to real Gods.

It gets noisy in my head. And my thoughts can be disorganized.

For my thoughts to fall into order I find it crucial to stop everything. Close my eyes, and still my mind.

Psalm 46:10

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

This is a time to listen.

Breathe deep from my heart.

Silence my own thoughts, and wait for the other voices to calm down.

I don’t judge the people in my life or the voices in my head, I simply still my consciousness.

I do not allow frustration. I just breathe and listen not with my ears or even my mind (hence, stilling my mind), but I listen with my heart.

I’ve learned that’s the secret to communing more privately with Gods… spiritual language.

I bypass the mind, and talk with my feelings only.

There is always one who hears me from within the stillness of my heart.

I feel my way through a conversation with One. Listening through feeling, aware of my awareness.

If it weren’t for my mindfulness meditations, I’d be overwhelmed. Some of the voices I sometimes hear are not friendly. It takes concentration to detach from unfriendly voices, and then fill my heart and mind with warmth, gratitude, Love.

In this state, I am supremely Blessed.

Thank you for being.

Enlillie